miss. independent

"Don't sacrifice your future for a momentary pleasure" 

i always feel that i need "someone" to do everything.  i have been independent most of my life, but still there has been this lingering need for constant company.  and when i get the company, i get dependent.  i hate that in myself.  


and just like that i recently got used to going to the gym with my best friend, but she only goes like once every full moon so i've been somewhat mimicking this pattern.  and she only needs to tone, whereas i need to still lose 20 more lbs, well 22 if you considered all the hardcore binging that i managed to accomplish this week.  yet, i know what i need to do, and the task at hand does not require a teammate.   


yes, it is nice to have someone support you and be beside you, but if i can't realistically depend on anyone - i am more than capable of doing workouts by myself.  i see no other way.  the weak part of me is a bit bitter - and the strong part of me says "get over it!".  this is something i need to do for myself - and i CAN do this.  i do not lack friends.  i just have to know that this is a mission that needs to be completed, solo.  and if i meet people through this journey then i welcome the fresh faces.  


i know that i am not truly alone, ever.  i have to believe that the universe surrounds me with love and support every moment of my life.  this i believe and i cherish this knowing.  


I can do this - 22 more lbs, to be gone forever...


to the stars, 


uma


p.s. i just came back from a hardcore 1.5 hr workout session - cycling, running, sprinting, cardio, weights - the whole package! i am proud! and i am powerful beyond measure! rOAR! :)