self-sabotage

“It always seems impossible until its done.”

 - Nelson Mandela

sometimes i feel that the closer i get to my ultimate goal weight - the faster i want to sabotage my progress. i know it's insane! but i am noticing a pattern.  i finally got below the 140 mark (third time!) and i just want to binge.  it's like my body and mind is uncomfortable being small.  


i have to really focus on my mental will power now.  i have to make sure that i do everything in my power not to sabotage myself.  i need to know that i can reach my goal.  i can reach my goal.  i have to really tell myself that i deserve this, that i want this, and that it will be for the betterment of my life.  


walking down the mall i realized how far i've come. it felt almost as if i was walking on clouds.  i've gotten so much lighter. i can feel it in my movements, in the way my clothes fall off of me and in the way i fit into places.  i love it - but my journey is not over.  i still have soo much to learn and 18.4 lbs to go! 


to the stars, 


uma