missing in action.

"are your excuses more important than your dreams?"

literally. i haven't been to the gym in over a week.  i did go to a 45 minute Zumba session and i did a couple of hundred situps and other strength training ish throughout the week. but no gym.  what does that mean? it means that i did not push myself enough - i didn't try hard enough.  i have a half marathon coming in October so i have to start training, otherwise i will be fainting on course - which would be mega embarassing.  i hope i make a sincere effort to go today.  i need to lose another 24 lbs to get to my ultra goal weight. 


i am already starting to get the distracting and disabling comments like "are you eating at all??!?" "you don't need to lose any more weight!?!" "you're too tall to be that skinny".  yes these are all discouraging but i have to keep moving and losing - otherwise all the hard work that i've done would be a loss.  i am proud of myself - it took a lot of persistence.  i want to say and sacrifice, but no what i did up to the point of gaining pound after pound of weight was a sacrifice, a sacrifice of happiness, health and opportunities.  i only looked at the very short term fulfillment and sacrificed the things that really mattered.  no more sacrifices. 


i tried to go without sugar for the month of march - with the exception of my bday cake of course.  and i have to say i've been pretty successful.  i do remember craving chocolate or cake here and there but i sustained.  i didn't obsessively check every single ingredient. i kind of played it by ear - if i thought something was sweet and sugary like a donut, coffee, milk tea, candy, chocolate, cake, etc. then i didn't eat it. period.  i am going to try drinking soup for dinner all week next week as an experiment and see how that works out for me.  


it is constant work, but not really - it's life.  every single small daily act that i maintain will help to create hundreds of ripples in my life and the life of my loved ones.  oh! that reminds me, i am such a brat - i can't believe i didn't mention the enablers.  so everyone, and i mean EVERYONE knows i am on a "diet" so for my bday my boyfriend bought me the smallest but most delicious cake he could find to support me, my mommy bought me a small square slice of a cake which all of us shared, with the exception of my daddykins who is also doing a sugar cleanse for awhile now. And at work we didn't do the traditional cake celebration - instead i got beautiful pink flowers! i was ever so appreciative of everyones thoughtfulness.  


i hope these last 24lbs melt off magically, or at least without any glitches and major bumps on the road.    


to the stars, 


uma