leaving behind the comfort.

"there are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind"

~ C.S. Lewis

i want to exercise. but i really don't. i wish i could let my body go to the gym and do an exercise while i remained back here in sedentary relaxing.  :)


i don't know what disables us from attaining to do our best 100% of the time. is it perhaps that we don't require all this ambition - maybe i really don't "need" a super fit and sexy body. maybe being sluggish and at a normal weight is deserving of equal contentment. 


i suspect this type of "settling" comes from a strong aversion for the uncomfortable, that coincidentally comes with striving for more.  it's so simple in my head. get changed. put on your runners. get out of the house. get to the gym. run. exercise. core workout. leave. and i am done.  yet just the thought of this is so painful. whyyyyyyy? i don't get it. 


what contentment am i really attaining from this non-motion? this blah-ness? this non-living? non-participation in life?  why can't i be more focused and motivated. 


i have to get to the gym today. whatever it takes. 




to the stars, 




uma