the beauty potion.

"but it's spirit is in beauty"

have you ever thought beauty was the answer to all your prayers?  i have and still do.  i thought that if i was so beautiful no one would dare hurt me, judge me, discriminate against me, hate me, disgrace me, abuse me, disrespect me, ignore me nor leave me. i thought beauty gave you immunity from all of life's problems.  it would protect you from all the troubles and sadness.  i used to think, and still do, that people judge by the cover and not by the book.  that all that mattered to anyone was the exterior "quality".


if it looked like it was new and shiny, those were the toys that most interested us when we were younger.  well if she looks pretty then those are the ladies that were worth knowing now, for love and even friendship.  i see a lot of blogs and public people with hundreds of admirers. yes these are interesting people - but what if these ladies were ogres, leading the same interesting lives and carrying on just as they did as always, would anyone care?  would they be flocked and put on a pedestal in the very same manner?


i want to know because i still think this way. that a beauty potion is all that i needed to get out of life's troubles. that beauty would prevail racism, sexism, ageism, and discrimination against religion, origin, class status and weight. if she had beauty she would never be picked last.  but what of inner beauty you may ask? yes what of it? was there ever such a thing? how can you base beauty on something without form, because clearly what you are pertaining to is her soul, isn't it? or perhaps you are thinking of her thoughts, but how will you quantify her thoughts - because thoughts are of a dual nature.  thoughts hardly come in the manner of the humdrum variety.  my thoughts are getting hazy.  where there are good thoughts, there are also ugly thoughts.


so what would you base her inner worth on? how subordinate she is to you? how well she behaves? how homely she can get? how she cooks for you as you put up your feet from a long day at work? what will you base it on, because clearly you are always evaluating her.  the shes judge her as well. there is always judgement.  not good enough, or she thinks she's too good. so what will be the remedy? to attain love from all, not just one?   to escape life's hinders and diversions.  when will she be perfect? with or without such beauty.