in search of miracles.

"i am only one, but i am one. i cannot do everything, but i can do something.

and i will not let what i cannot do interfere with what i can do." 

- edward everett hale

i am in full fledged binge mode, there is no denying it.  i went to Boston Pizza yesterday and i literally ate past the "full point".  It started with the weekend.  I was super stressed out and went out with my BFF to Demetres to treat ourselves to sweet sugary desserts to drown out the difficulties of being an adult living with parents.


i know i need to move out, because living with my parents at this age is becoming more and more of a challenge.  my parents don't seem to understand that i am a grown adult and at the same time i feel that maybe i am distressing them by remaining a burden.  cultural and generational gaps apart, we don't see eye to eye on most things.  everything becomes a struggle. life becomes a struggle.


but back to the matter at hand, i am stressed and i realize it's leading me to depend on food.  i see myself succumb to old eating habits.  i have to stop over eating and portioning my food better. i wish this was much easier but its not.  i have also not gone to the gym 3 days in a row including today.  ahhh i need to get back on track.


other than my stash of godiva truffles (one per day of course) i have to eliminate all junk.  it's a must.  i am out of control right now and i can't depend on  myself being rational about my food choices.


if i dont' go to the gym i have to work out at home - i just have to! no ifs buts or maybes. i am going to do it! and that's that!  i have to add more activity to my day when i am at work, especially at work cuz i sit for eight hours straight, drive for two hours and sleep 6-7 hours.   that's 16-17 hours in a 24 hour day spent in a sedentary state.  gosh that's awful.


i don't want to lose hope. and i dont' want to stall my weight loss.  i need help and big time. but more importantly i need miracles.  lots of them.



to the stars,


uma