self-control.

the difference between want and need is self-control. 

what is self-control?  i think of it as mind over matter. your mind is in control of the situation.  i don't know how i would grade my self-control - it's a bit jaded at the moment.  

i feel this strong disconnect with my body. the disconnect is especially strong and distorted when it comes to feeling full, food cravings, and this constant need to eat/nourish. even when i am not hungry.  i don't know where it comes from.  it's this anxious feeling.  obviously there is something troubling me but i can't pin-point exactly what it is.  maybe there are many issues and thus, it becomes harder to factor a single issue.  

there is constant urgency to eat. i eat to change my mood - i know this. but i rather fix the problem rather than tip toe around it.  i really need to heal myself.  until then i just have to take things slowly and gently.  i have a feeling once i sort out the underlying issues, food will no longer play such a pivotal role with my emotions and my self-control.


to the stars, 

uma